don't mind me kids

Sat, 12 May 2007 04:53:01 GMT

i've officially fallen off of the face of the earth!

i love the 22 fillmore

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 06:23:04 GMT

overheard on the bus earlier today as said by the most cracked out ghettofabulous woman ever:

"nigga please. i told you to buy me a muthafuckin' eighth and yo stank ass didn't. now i'm gonna go home, forget what you did, and smoke me the fattest blunt yo muthafuckin' eyes have ever seen."

god bless living by the projects.

near ms. steak

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 07:38:14 GMT

this weekend, i nearly walked away from the love of my life no particular reason other than the fact that i simply do not know how to be happy.

but for him, i'll learn.

halcyon daze

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 23:21:19 GMT

after the death of my grandmother in october, i tried in vain to go about my days the same as i always had, but i surely was not fooling anyone, lest myself. i was overwhelmed with an emptiness that i could not explain nor bear the burden of. i felt as if i was on the edge of yet another nervous breakdown. tired of the series of apexes and nadirs of emotional and mental stability i have endured over the course of 8 years, i decided to go back to therapy and commit myself to actually getting treated.

i went to the intake interview a month ago before school started, sat down, munched on 2 mini tootsie-roll pops that i had furtively stolen from the candy dish on the secretary's desk, and waited for the girl to interview me. i flipped through a few old tabloid magazines and admired the mid-century modern furniture in the lobby of the psychology clinic at school. about 10 minutes later, she greeted me with a warm smile and took me into a room.

every psychology clinic i have ever stepped into has had the same formulaic setup as the next and this one did not deviate from the norm one bit. soft fabrics and a soft color palette, warm lighting, aromatherapy candles, a large clock, and a large box of tissues for the inevitable moment where you engage yourself in a cathartic cry....check, check and check.

she started asking me questions: "why are you here? tell me about your family. friends. lovers. etc." the funny thing about this all is the fact that despite having told her the worst possible thing that ever happened to me in my life, i broke down over the part where my parents gave my dog away without telling me. needless to say, i felt like a bit of a douche.

we went one hour over the allotted 2 hour time slot at the end of which she said..."good god, you're miraculously well adjusted for all you've been through."

"thanks, i guess."

"sometimes people don't get paired with a psychologist for half a year. we will definitely be calling you in two weeks."

sure enough, the other day i got a call and i have my first appointment on tuesday.

yesterday i was reading the entirety of my old livejournal and was admittedly perturbed by the inconsistent tone of my writing that no doubt reflected the condition of my mental state. i then decided to put it all behind me and start this new LJ up, and reclaim my life once again. here goes nothing...

bright shiny and new.

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 17:26:46 GMT

hello there.

this is my new journal. i hope you like it.

warmest regards,

cissa.

voices tell me i'm the shit.

don't mind me kids

i love the 22 fillmore

near ms. steak

halcyon daze

bright shiny and new.